Sunday Morning

Sunday we finally got in a little R&R. We headed over to the Taj Krishna, one of the “leading hotels in the world” as it advertises. It certainly is an impressive hotel. As you walk in, a guard who seems to be about 8 feet tall (I realized later that he has on shoes that have about a 6 inch heel, I guess they are made cushy since he stands all day) wearing a fez, a long Indian dress shirt, a giant unibrow and possibly the most impressive mustache I have ever seen holds the door for you and says “good day, madam.” Guys get a salute! The lobby and halls, which are about as far as I’ve ever gone, are entirely marble, with marble statues adorning the sides, huge mirrors and gold drapes. When you think of India, a lot of times this image of grandeur and riches comes to mind (the other times of course, total poverty comes to mind), and the Taj Krishna really seems to show that. We met Emre, Paula and H at the pool which was sunken in behind the hotel – you had to walk down a long path of stairs to get there. All of the lounge chairs were full but the attendants brought out mattresses for us to lay on, which were very comfortable, but totally impractical for reading or basically doing anything but laying down. (To my Vandies - anyone remember Ash curling up asleep on the beach during senior week…these would have been perfect for that!) I got a veg club sandwich (totmato and cucumber) and French fries for lunch that were SO good. I think because I haven’t had anything remotely close to French fries in almost a month. It was practically the most expensive meal I have had since being here, but worth it. It was super hot outside but the water was very pleasant, so it made the afternoon nice.

At 3 Kathryn and I headed to pick up a gift voucher and some sweets for our colleague, Naren, who was getting engaged that evening. There are sweet shops everywhere here – I mentioned the incredible sweet tooth before. We got a kilo (!) of sweets for Naren and a small packet of pista chuhli for us to share (pistachio candy). As we got back in the car, I offered a piece to Neelakanta. “Do you want a piece of this pista candy?” “Yah medam!” he said as he flashed me a huge grin, snatched the entire bag out of my hand threw it on the seat next to him in the front. Needless to say, that was the last we saw of the pista chuhli.

Vivek, another colleague of ours, picked Kathryn and I up and we drove some 45 minutes to Naren’s house. When we arrived, we were ushered up a narrow flight of stairs to a rooftop terrace, where there were about 50 people seated (women all on one side, men all on the other) watching Naren and his bride to be, who were seated on a stage under some hot spotlights. By this point it was about 5:30 pm; the actual engagement ceremony had started at 3:30 or so. There were some other rituals done with each couple in the families, and then it was time for the tradition of feeding the newly engaged couple a piece of cake. Maybe not every guest, but at least every person from Deloitte (which was about 15) and numerous others went up to feed them cake. “Please come,” Naren’s brother asked us, “it is your turn.” So we went up to feed them as well, although you could tell by watching that they were both about to puke with every bite. While we were up on stage, they wanted a picture of the two Americans with the couple. I don’t mean to sound conceited but I felt like the room became quieter as everyone paused to stare at us in the photo! After this it was time to eat, which meant of course biryani, some spicy sauces I couldn’t recognize and a sweet. I looked around as people were happily digging in and stirring the rice up with their right hand. Just then someone handed me a spoon. I don’t really mind the eating with your hands, but the thing that gets me is there are no napkins in India! At least, there were none at Naren’s, and they are around but not plentiful in the U.S., and people will take one or two, not a handful. All of Naren’s friends joked that the food was too spicy for us (which it was). Someone offered us water which we politely declined, having no idea where it was coming from. Then two seconds later, someone else appeared with diet cokes for the Americans. I am greatly enjoying India and trying to do things the right way here, but I’ll happily play the American and take the spoon and the diet coke any day.

It was really interesting to see, but I couldn't help but thinking how overwhelming it must be to get engaged this way to someone you barely know. Vivek told us that about 30% of marriages now are love marriages and the other 70% still arranged (as this one was).